SELF PORTRAITS

These are every artist's duty, to help folks 
understand the arts and artists in general! 
They communicate things about us that maybe we 
just cannot put into words, but that maybe 
need to be known or understood.



"I Wonder What They Think Of Me Now That I Spoke My Mind..."




"Ah! Well... It's Okay Whatever They Think!"
(Sometimes ya just gotta speak your mind...)




"I Know You Love me anyway,  my Lord,  no matter what!"
(So thanks.)


In the next few days, I plan to do some 
remembrances of childhood self portraits. 
Then we were unaware that was what these were 
called! We just drew pictures and used 
whatever color(s) of finger  paint or crayon 
expressed our mood of the moment!

AN OUTING & RETAIL THERAPY WITH BABYGIRL

"Look outside, Babygirl, sunlight and fresh North Carolina mountain air. Let's go!"

"I THINK THERE'S A TASTY BUG DOWN HERE, MOMMY?"
"MOMMY says NO!!! Let's get going."

Sometimes all it takes is a nice day out and about to feel better. Especially when that day includes shopping and eating out with some friends and my li'l doggie! She got the royal treatment everywhere, but then she is from a long bloodline of excellently bred dachshunds.

Everything I bought was for her, the little princess!

"SEE HOW CUTE I AM!"

However, I've not been able to find my camera for several days now, so you will just have to imagine her in her brand new bright orange vest, drinking from her special water bottle that is designed just for her and her K-9 cousins!

BABYGIRL PRAYING

She had a wonderful time and is sleeping like a baby now (she gets pooped trying to keep up with mommy on her short little legs, so I have to remember to slow down!) I've always walked quite quickly. This may have been from trying to keep up with my grandaddy when I was a little girl. We'd be out on the forest paths when he picked wild mushrooms... I suppose all my years of hiking in the mountains and forests later on just added to this even more. I guess I was always curious about what was just beyond that next bend, hill or valley...

"SLEEPING LIKE A BABY"

SHE'S MORE THAN A COMPANION!

She's My #1 Helper, Best Friend And My Sweetie!

She takes her time when I call her sometimes, so she's still "IN TRAINING" to be a Service Dog, technically. Though she sure is much more than a "PET" or "Companion" to me as some folks have tried to say when attempting to refuse us entry. My philosophy is simply to move on to another similar place where they have a heart, but! Not if that place which has tried to refuse us entry is the only one like it in town. I'm not one for uneeded confrontation, but I will stand up for my rights if and when the need does arise.

She helps me to remember to eat (and take my meds in that way by default, as I take them with my meals and that is thankfully ingrained in me for many years now).

My (Sheila's) needs are many, though not at all recognisable by the your average shop owner or restaurateur, or untrained/ unaware  person (re: ADA regulations) from the usual places around town and so on. The judgemental and those looking for any excuse to refuse us entry will even go out of their way to try and find such excuse(s).

So far I've not had to call any officials, the Police or like persons, but I wonder how far some folks will go in their attempts to refuse and/or trouble and stop us... I pray I never find out!

Babygirl dispels my fears and anxieties first and foremost. At many times and in many a way she's accomplished this: I suffer from several emotional and mental conditions as well as Lyme Disease. PTSD is at the top of the list in relation to my needing her with me at all times. By no means is that all of it. Depression, Bipolar, directional inabilities caused by Dyslexia play a huge role in all of this too.

BABYGIRL WITH A PET THERAPY "PATIENT" AT A NURSING HOME

Fear of getting lost sent me into the worst panic attack I think I ever experienced. That was back in 1988. My hubby, God rest his soul, was at work; cell phones were rare in those days and we'd just moved into a new house in Central New Jersey. We had resided quite near to New York City before that, and I'd never needed or wanted to learn to drive, fearing my dyslexia would make it difficult if not impossible.

I finally braved getting my driver's licence after much coaxing and begging by my hubby. Soon thereafter I was out exploring for the first time. I wanted to see what was around, to discover (BIG MISTAKE IF ONE HAS NO MAP AND SUCH DISABILITIES AS I)! However, I often lack the ability to "think ahead or predict outcomes," and so I really had no clue as to what I was getting myself into!

MY MOTHER WITH HER FAVORITE DOG

There I was, out on some country farm road a couple hours later and the sun was beginning to settle a way into the west... so I decided to turn back thinking of home. (Yeh right...) I had not thought about this part of my adventure at all! Soon, I was hopelessly lost, the adventure was long behind me and I was scared. As time went on, I became more frightened. Then came the full blown panic attack about a mile later! My hands were so sweaty it was difficult to hold the wheel, there were no cars or houses in sight, nothing but winding, curving mildly hilly roads. There was still some light, but the sun had set.

As I progressed, I came upon a road which was labeled "Rahway Road" if I recall. "GREAT!" I thought to myself, "I'll just take this and it will lead me back to Rahway, where our new house is."

NOT!

I have no sense of direction, so (of course) I turned the wrong way!!! I finally ended up in a small farming community. Finally in desperation, I dared to go and ask someone in one of the farm houses. They informed me that Rahway was the opposite direction from the one I'd been travelling (of course). So I turned tail...

An hour later or so, if I recall, I entered Rahway from the opposite side of town where I'd left it many hours earlier. I was not able to recognise any landmarks! Still panicked, I kept driving until finally I recognised the Avenue upon which our new house was: Hazelwood Avenue.

SERVICE DOGS NEED TIME TO PLAY!

 Unfortunately, I was coming from the opposite direction and missed my house! Almost. I backed up, pulled into the driveway and vowed to NEVER leave the house to go on an adventure again!!!

From that point on, I took my car to the grocery store once a week and that was it. No adventures. No nothing else, except maybe to visit a friend who lived about 10 blocks away. Often I would walk there with my dog rather than take the chance of getting lost EVER again.

I went for walks all around that town with one or another of my five dogs often. At least I was able to do that without panic, thank the Lord!

ME WITH 2 OF MY FAVORITE PUPS IN THE MID 80S

A BLOG I ONCE STARTED, But Accidentally Lost Track of...

Pastor David and his sweet wife Glenda, myself and friends...
(Glenda is seated, her hubby is behind her to the right and I next to his right)

A BLOG I ONCE STARTED, But Accidentally Lost Track of...

Finally ending up eventually (in a round about way) restarting this new one at my other email address without realizing it!

This is what I get for having two (2) similar email addresses, being very forgetful these days, AND confusing them one with the other as well! (Not to mention the other BLOG I recently DELETED...)

THIS WAS MY FIRST BLOG:

http://spicedmochajavaforthezany.blogspot.com/

This one you are currently reading is my third (3rd) BLOG.

And if you are thoroughly confused now, it is time for a cup of  *"Spiced Mocha-Java For The Zany" (my first BLOG's inspiration and namesake!)

*At this time I would like to take a moment to thank my dear friend and prayer partner, Glenda, for her help, inspiration, and assistance in naming that first BLOG!

Thank you, Glenda!

Homeward Bound From A Sunday Drive



Twilight In The Vermont Mountains

 After we'd all settled into the car and gotten comfortable, we'd start the long journey home...

Mom and my sis would have had lasagna for dinner, daddy his favorite spaghetti and sausages (or maybe meatballs) and I would have been happy to be savoring the memory of meat my Ravioli. Daddy would have had a mug of beer, maybe mommy too. I always had milk; I just loved how the tangy tomato sauce and milk blended together to make a somewhat cheese-like flavor linger on my tongue... My sis always had spumoni and I Bisque Tortoni for dessert, while mom liked pie with ice cream and daddy probably the same. They often had a coffee too, so they'd be sure to stay awake for the drive home.

Usually something funny would have happened during dinner. One time, for instance, Daddy noticed that he had been given only one sausage. Usually there would have been two or even three in some of the better restaurants. He waited patiently to see if maybe another one would arrive late from the kitchen or something. When this hadn't occurred in a couple of minutes, he called the waiter over and shined his ever handy flashlight onto his plate, asking if the waiter noticed anything was missing. The poor fellow stared at daddy's plate with a dumbfounded and  puzzled expression on his face... daddy finally told him, after he'd made the fellow squirm, that he was missing a sausage and would the man please bring it to him!

If I recall, the fellow tried very hard to convince daddy that there had been two on the plate, without going so far as to actually accuse him of telling a fib. Daddy didn't take kindly to this, needless to say, but he did eventually get his other two sausages!

My sister and I always kept some deodorant or mouthwash coupons to leave under our plates as "tips" when we'd had such a waiter or waitress. Needless to say, this feller got both!



The Glow After Sunset


We'd all have a good laugh about what had occurred at dinner, as well as which "special" coupons my sis and I had left under our plates...

Midnight Moon Kissing The Predawn To Awaken It

My sister and I would be gazing out the windows, sleepy-eyed or even dozing off... after a wonderful family dinner at some distant Italian restaurant in the mountains of Vermont or maybe the Adirondacks. We might even have been coming home from Canada on the newly complete Northway! Dad was usually driving while mom would be assuring our way home with a handy flashlight and the AAA Road Atlas she always kept nearby.

SUMMER VACATIONS

We were on the Canadian National Railroad that transported the old family station wagon, as well as our family, all across Canada! My sister and I had our own bunks and all, it was so much fun! Our beds were up above us, while we had places to sit and look out the windows. We each had our own private facilities with commodes, sinks, mirrors, etc. Mom and Dad had their own shared room in another train car up front a few cars ahead; my sister and my bunks were in a car that maybe had a dozen or so private sleeper rooms in it such as ours. I was probably about 12 years old.

Mom would come and fetch us when our family's shift for dinner was on. The food was great, as was the service, but we kids were far more interested in exploring than such amenities then. We had plenty of time in which to do so too, for the train took some three (3) days to traverse Canada.

We made good friends with the Caboose man as we called him. It was such a great adventure watching everything disappear behind us as the train moved forward. We'd never experienced anything like it. I think we even got a tour of the front engine once, but I don't recall a lot about it other than there being so many dials that it seemed beyond me how anyone could keep track of them all!

We had toys with us, books and magazines to read and all the usual things you'd expect kids to bring along, of course. I had a slinky toy, which was like a 3 inch wide spring made of metal; you may remember these although they seem to be made of plastic these days. I think it was the second day we were on board that I discovered I could let it hang down off my top bunk and it would bounce right back up! Well, I was doing this when a lady walked by through the isle, which was not very wide. I waited while she went by... just as soon as she was past me, I let it bounce on down into the isle again. On its way back up, it caught the back of her dress and pulled it way up almost covering her face! She didn't see me above her at first! She was too busy trying to "unruffle her feathers" so to speak. Meanwhile I was up above her trying my hardest not to move, and not be seen nor heard, while at the same time trying my hardest not to burst out laughing hysterically!

Needless to say, I failed at trying not to be seen, as she looked around frantically for what or who on earth had been so fresh with her. I had a short hairdo, and this was around the time of the Beatles with their penchant for long hair then being popular. I think she may have thought I was a young boy! I'm not sure. Anyway, she gave me a look that could kill, needless to say! Then she said, "HARRUMPH!" as she walked off in a huff. I was still trying not to laugh my head off and so was unable to say a word!


I was most thankful that my parents were not around at that moment, nor staying in the same car as we were, or I would have caught "it" for sure! Thankfully, I never saw her again.

As time went by, the novelty of all this wore off.  My sister and I became maybe a bit bored. Anyway, when the train stopped early one morning, before our parents were awake, we decided to get off and explore a bit. We often did this when staying in motels, because our folks liked sleeping quite a bit later than we did. So, there we were off away from the train a bit when the conductor asked us if everything was alright. We assured him that it was, not realizing that there were not any folks scheduled to disembark at that stop. I'm not sure what the stop was for, probably just to take on supplies.

There we were standing a ways off from the train and he again asked us again if we were OK. We assured him that we were. He looked at us rather strangely and said that the train was about to leave. He didn't say the usual, "All Aboard!" or anything, so we had not known! Needless to say,  we got our little tails back on that train faster than speeding bullets!

Oh! The things we never shared with mom and dad...

WAITING FOR VACATION

WAITING  FOR  VACATION

Sitting in class, listening to yet another boring lecture, something about do's and don'ts... wishing I was out on the horse trails at old Mr. Whitey's Farm with my favorite horse...

The Neighbor's Horse Barn

The teach' asks me some question... I stare at her with blank eyes, still daydreaming... she calls on the teacher's pet once again. The one who always has all the answers, except how to enjoy life, live life or even dream about how to enjoy it to the fullest or live it at all for that matter! How could she even dream of that! With her nose in all the books, she never even looked out the windows, let alone dared to sneek off the playground into the woods or "play hookie" (skip class altogether or even better yet: the whole day!).

Under every leaf is a treasure. Sometimes a pretty rock, sometimes a metalic green bug or even a coin someone dropped! Best yet are the arrowheads from way back when the warriors hunted and brought meat home for their squaws to cook.

Under Every Leaf is a Prize!

One day I found a spearhead! It was really too large to hide under a leaf. Actually, I'd been digging to find it. What a wonderful day when I did! I showed it to my teacher and she asked if she could "borrow" it to show to the local museum director. I handed it to her, assuming that since she'd said "borrow" that she would return it. Ha! Although I asked and asked, she never did return it. Finally, after I'd made a huge fuss, she claimed that it belonged to our community and the museum would be keeping it! Needless to say, I felt betrayed.

Lost Dreams, Forever...

And she was the same one who'd just taught us that, "Honesty is the best policy," yeh right...


I guess she never did understand that kids learn by example, not empty words!

Classroom World Map?

ON MY WAY TO THE BARNYARD

On my way to the barnyard...



A NEIGHBOR'S ROSE

A neighbor's rose caught my eye, but there was only one so I dared not pick it as it would 
surely have been missed, and I would have caught you know what!


Crossing the railroad tracks I noticed everything was so colorful and bright, maybe it was 
the cool glasses my friend Annie gave me, the ones that made everything look all rosey.



LEAVES ON THE TRACKS


By the time I got to where we were meeting, it was twilight time. The bats were echoing
off the walls and we could hear them! Our teachers had told us that we couldn't hear bats,
so we were amazed! We whisteled and screeched at them and they'd change course
abruptly so we knew they could hear us too. Later when we told our friends they laughed
at us and said that those were swallows, but we weren't convinced. Swallows looked
much different in the encyhclopedia. Swallows have much longer tails, bats very short or 
nonexistant ones.





THE HORSEMAN'S BARNYARD

We barely made it home by nine o'clock curfew that night.

"NANA, Are you happy now?"

"NANA, Are you happy now?"

"My Nana looking through her reading glasses"

"Yes, my sweet, I'm so happy now!"

"Then I'm happy too, Nana"

"Sheila Writing to Aimee"

"Nice Doggie! Can I pet him?"

"Nice Doggie! Can I pet him?"

"Baby in Purples"

"Yes, Sheila, you may pet her."

FREE!

Free to play at last, the meanie is gone!

"Mommie want a rose?"

"Nice Charlie! Good dog."

NICE!

Pwetty colors, dese cwayons!

Mountain Valley Musings...

WIPING MY EYES SO I CAN SEE!

"I wike dis hankey you embwoidered, Nana, it's pwetty!"



"WESTING PWACE"

 "You wike my picture, Nana?"

(She says yes, of course, my sweet!)

"I Wuv you!"

Playing With Colors and Shapes

"Hi my NANA! I LOVE you!! li'l sheila"

"Nana, I need a hanky to bwow my nosey, pwease."

COLOR & LIGHT

Playing...




My NANA Watching Over Me



My Paper Mountains

Baby Sheila Playing at NANA's House!